The Lady Who Lives Down the Lane

OK, you know (we all know) that I love travel. I love standing in line at an airport, I love bad airline food, I love airport security. Why? Because it means I am going somewhere!

For the past two years and counting I, like everyone, have been frustrated because I could not go anywhere. OK, that’s not precisely true, because last summer we did our usual trip to Penticton and had a faboo time. But I wanted to go to Europe, to the UK, to Africa! A long-planned trip with my sister to visit relatives in the UK had to be cancelled. I read and reread the blog posts I wrote during our trip to Paris and Spain back in 2019. But I held back on planning a trip because I was so anxious about doing just that and then having everything collapse because of COVID. I saw the FaceBook posts from other people who went to Mexico and Arizona and Florida and other sunnier climes and I was jealous, but still……..anxious. Triple-vaxxed and obsessive about wearing a mask, yet anxious.

It would take a real kick in the you-know-where for me to seriously think about travelling.

Cue that adorable ass-kicker, my darling DIL. It has long been a dream of hers that the whole family should be together in one destination. And that destination?

She chose the time and the place (Spring Break and Anaheim, California) and all we had to do was fill in the forms and get going. So we did and we will and I am very excited. It appears we will be 9 in number, DH and myself, DS and DIL, DIL’s DAD, DD, and all 3 grandchildren. All the flight and accommodation bookings went smoothly, thanks to my savvy sister and a travel agent who specializes in Disney trips.

But I am still anxious. Even with all the planning and pre-paying and booking and reserving, everything could all be cancelled at the very last minute if we have a positive COVID test.

As far as I know, we’ve never had COVID. And the antigen tests that are required for travel to the US are not expensive and not difficult to book. And I know I will research and comply with all the rules and regs that are necessary for travel. But I blame the pandemic for that feeling of unease every time I think about, well, the future. It’s all been so tenuous over the past two years. People are still getting sick.

But I am so glad that I am working through the anxiety and actually planning FOR the trip as well as planning the trip. I was re-reading my blog post about when we went to Seville. It was scary to be in a place so unlike where I was from. Narrow winding streets, a foreign language to negotiate, I was definitely out of my comfort zone. But Seville ended up being my favourite of all the places we visited.

There’s a lot less planning involved with this trip. DIL is driving this clown car, the only thing I want out of a trip to the parks is to hang with the family and eat junk food. We’re fitting in a couple of days at Palm Springs just because, but overall it’s just a chance to be together.

And it will be good to see a couple of old friends again.

And I will tell you why.

Monday I worked for Elections Canada in the Federal Election for which half of eligible voters did not show up because I guess they believe the current situation is fine and also the other half of voters who did vote thought the same way because nothing substantially changed. I was at the polling station, handing out and receiving ballots.

COVID protocols were in place. Everyone who entered the elementary school gym (workers and voters) where the voting was held had to wear a mask* and had a shot of hand sanitiser. There were plastic shields at each desk, there were single-use pencils that could be discarded after use. There was hand sanitiser at each desk for the voters and for the workers to give themselves a frequent de-germing on our hands. It was a safe place to be.

The next morning I woke up with a cold.

Now I say that, not to get any pity from you (like Oscar Wilde, I think that self-pity is the only pity that really counts). No, I say that to prove that a virus is gonna get you if it’s there.

What did I do to get a virus from some innocent but contagious voter into my body? Well, some people returned the pencil to me, or I picked it up from the desk. I had to handle their identification and their voting registration cards and hand them back to them. I had to receive the folded ballot back and tear off the counterfoil and give it back to them to put into the ballot box. I had to handle each ballot when I counted them. There were actually plenty of chances for that virus to catch a ride onto my hands. But whence to my face?

I tried to remember to sanitise my hands after every transaction, but sometimes did not get a chance. I tried not to touch my face, but had to lift my mask to use my water bottle or tea cup and when I ate. Also I caught myself with my chin on my hand as the evening wore on and I wore out.

I interacted with about 200 people on voting day. Imagine being a barista where you deal with twice that number during their shift, or a waiter/ress who must deal with people not wearing masks and handle their credit cards? They will come in contact with thousands of germs and viruses during their daily duties.

We have to make sure that not one of those viruses is for COVID-19.

If we want to continue to be able to go to the gym or the coffee shop or the clothing store we have to make sure that we are not endangering the lives of the people serving us.

1. Get Vaccinated
2. Prove It

It’s just that easy.

*if you didn’t want to wear a mask you could vote outside.

The past year has been….challenging.

I can’t complain about the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on our lives. As I’ve said, we are safe in our home, getting along with each other and our cats and even enjoying the solitude on occasion.

But my health has suffered, not as much as if I’d contracted the disease, but age and arthritis had been slowly eroding my mobility and my general health. And it’s my fault. Before my self-isolation started in March 2020, I’d been quite active, going to the gym 3 times a week when I didn’t have temp assignments, walking a lot and just living my life out in the community. But that came to a screeching halt when COVID came to town.

Of course no one suspected that we’d be doing this for so long. I started sitting around the house, imagining that I’d be back at the gym in a matter of weeks. Which stretched into months, then a year. And my arthritic hip got worse, atrophying as I deprived it of exercise. I tried walking around the neighbourhood but it just wasn’t enough. Plus it hurt like hell. Pain is quite the disincentive, I’ve found. People who worry about the pain of a shot may avoid going to the dentist for years. So knowing that my hip was going to ache like crazy (even if I loaded up on pain meds before heading out) meant I was disinclined to put myself through it. I started walking shorter routes, skipping several days in a row, then giving up in the rains of autumn. When my doctor told me I qualified for a hip replacement I just gave up altogether, figuring I’d get back in shape when the hip was fixed and exercise was pain-free.

We probably know someone whose life was completely changed by an accident or a chronic disease. Someone who enjoyed getting out and about suddenly losing the ability and the desire to leave their home. I was worried that I could be like that, turning into an old woman, restricting myself to the life of the invalid. That my health would disintegrate while we waited for the vaccine, and freedom. It was a sobering thought.

I saw the hip surgeon for a consultation on November 5, and he said the magic words to stir me into making the first change. He told me that it was up to me, and no pressure, but if I felt like it I could lose some weight. It would make the operation easier for the doctors and recovery easier for me. I needed no other inspiration. I went straight home and weighed myself, preparatory to starting a weight-loss regime.

Yikes! I thought I had put on some pounds but I had never been so heavy. I immediately downloaded an app and started counting calories. I knew I had at least 6 months before the operation and hoped to lose about 40 lbs to get down to a more reasonable size. Just as an aside, I knew I was fat. It didn’t bother me, I think a Nana should be cuddly, I don’t care much about fashion, and I knew that losing weight would not bring me youth and beauty. Seemed like a lot of bother for not a lot of pay off. But the impending operation gave me a reason to do it.

The weight started coming off slowly (as of yesterday, 30 lbs) and I actually enjoy weighing everything and logging it on the app. I stayed true to my “food budget” except for two cheat days — Christmas Eve and New Years Eve — when I indulged. So the resulting weight loss was rewarding.

I realized that I must do something about getting some exercise or my muscle tone would enter Jabba the Hutt territory. My daughter had acquired a stationary bicycle and was kind enough to let me use it. But she works from home in the same room as the bike, so I had to Tetris in my workout when she didn’t need to be on a Zoom call. And she is very busy. (We are still avoiding spending any time together indoors until we’re all vaccinated.)

I popped onto the Interwebs and discovered a YouTube channel perfect for my needs. It’s a certified trainer — and her 79-year-old mother — demonstrating simple exercises I can do in my limited space. If anyone had hinted a few months ago that I’d be looking forward every day to doing 50 minutes of exercise I would have questioned their sanity. Even when I was going to the gym it was something I made myself do. But these exercises are divided into short modules — warm up, cardio, strength training, cool down, etc.. I just combine them to fit my needs and I know that if I feel like a change I can just swap out one or more of the modules. It still causes hip pain, but somehow having a voice telling me what to do is distracting enough that I just work through it, ignoring the twinges.

I know the phrase “it changed my life” tends to be overused. After all, every decision changes our lives in some way. But I’m very happy to have started these two projects. It’s hard to find satisfying activities during the pandemic that give us measurable results, so often we feel like we’re going backwards. I’m glad I have tangible outcomes I can celebrate.

For many, 2020 was truly an annus horribilis. Loss of livelihood, a terrible disease that robbed many of their health, even their life. COVID brought that and much more. It certainly wasn’t the best year.

But it wasn’t my WORST year, not by a long shot. One of the comforts of ageing is that you can look back on times in your life when you were truly struggling and say “whew!, I survived that and I never have to go through it again”. And THOSE memories have made me grateful for many things that 2020 brought me.

Grateful for my partner. We married for better or worse. but I’m sure no one realized that meant 24 hours a day for 10 months. We’ve had our ups and downs since we married nearly 20 years ago, but we’re real partners now, real friends, with the same ridiculous sense of humour. I’ve been in a bad marriage, and I know the daily hell people can put themselves through. But we’ve really meshed in the past year, we support and love each other and we show that to each other every day.

Grateful for my kids. We’re fairly close as a family, we live right across the yard from the daughter and her children (which she has half time). I’m used to babysitting at a moment’s notice, and having visitors just pop in to read Harry Potter and make rock cakes or feed our pet fish. Or going out to the burbs to spend some time with the littlest g-kid while her parents have a well-deserved date. But now they are all out and about, going skiing and swimming, off to school. Being cautious of course, but even cautious people are getting COVID (see below). So we don’t see them. And they understand and respect that. On Christmas Eve we all got together at the main house, sitting out on the back deck that daughter had recently put a snazzy roof on. Daughter and her kids and even her ex-husband. Son and his wife and daughter. We wore masks except when we were eating and drinking, gathered around the fire pit. Then we separated again.

Grateful for my relationship with my sister. We had planned a trip to Great Britain, but of course we had to cancel when COVID led to strict travel bans. It broke my heart when, despite her precautions and care she got COVID and I could do nothing to help her. We spoke by phone and video messenger, but it would have been a comfort to me and a help to her if I’d lived in the same place as her. But she knows I love her, and we will be making our travel plans again when we can.

Soooooo grateful for my home. Not just because it’s perfect for us, comfortable and cheerful, but also because I have a home to be grateful for. So many are living rough right now, out on the street and unable to protect themselves, so vulnerable.

I’m grateful that our health professionals are working to keep us safe. I’m grateful for the teachers who are putting themselves in harm’s way to keep our kids (and grandkids) educated. I’m grateful for the cleaners who are working so hard to keep hospitals and schools and long-term care centres and public offices sanitized.

And I’m very grateful for Dr. Bonnie Henry and the governments who are trying to keep us alive until we can all be vaccinated. Mistakes were probably made, but the time to determine a better course is after we’ve returned to “normal” and the whole big picture is clearer. Right now I’m happy our provincial and federal governments have been led by science.

Times have been tough. But I’m grateful for everything that has been given to me, and I will stay grateful until we are all vaccinated and life will continue in a different pace, a different direction.

MONTECRISTO magazine’s online version featured a story on innovative laneway design, and our Grandview Laneway is mentioned!  Very good company, and very prestigious press.